Ghost In The Shell Movie Review – Live Action Is Lost In Translation

I’m going to be brutally honest here, folks.

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What the hell did I just watch?!

onion-avatar094To those who liked or even loved the live action version of Ghost in the Shell, maybe you saw something wonderful that I didn’t. That’s great for you by the way. However, I think this film lost some serious die hard fans though, including me. Which is odd, because I’m not a huge fan to begin with.

I wasn’t obsessive over the films, but I did enjoy the series: Stand Alone Complex and S.A.C 2nd GIG. Not only did it have amazing soundtracks (which I bought two CDs for), it had characters you grew to love, it was not only deep, but had its funny moments as well. It was made for adults.

I never judge anyone because of their preferences, whether it’s a favorite movie or a favorite book. Guilty pleasures, anyone? We all have unique tastes, so no hard feelings. Okay?

Please, don’t continue with this review if you don’t want any spoilers! There are big surprises up ahead! We have our opinions and if you enjoyed the film, don’t let me ruin it for you. You won’t like what I have to say. I did try my hardest to watch it. I gave this movie a chance and I really wanted to love it, but here’s my review…

onion-avatar034Ghost in the Shell is by far the prettiest, but worst film I’ve ever seen in history, in my lifetime. Actually, Splice is still at the top of my list for Worst Films Of All Time (at the #1 slot), but Ghost in the Shell almost takes the cake (at #2). It takes it to a whole other level right next to the reboot of RoboCop (#3) while #4 is still Wild Wild West starring Will Smith and #5 would be the remake of Godzilla. Slots #6-10 are debatable, but that’s another post.

During Ghost in the Shell, I literally fell asleep while watching it and that’s extremely rare. The last time I fell asleep was during The Hangover. It wasn’t funny enough to keep me awake or maybe I was very tired that day, since I had been working a lot. Back to the GITS…

The thing I hated the most was the music. It was Godawful.

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No thought nor effort into the soundtrack. No lovely emotional scores. It was rather bland. The acting was atrocious just like the soundtrack. Scarlett Johansson may look the part of Major, but she’s so dull and lifeless…like a robot, I felt nothing for her. I didn’t care about any of the other characters either.

onion-avatar017The plot was quite generic. The whitewashing wasn’t a problem to me in the beginning, until they actually added that into the storyline about why Major looks the way she does. None of it made any sense. Why bother change her name, if she’s supposed to be the same person?

What was the point? Yes, cyborgs. But why even add that in the first place? Why make the corporation evil? If Scarlett Johansson had the brain of a black man, would there be more of an outrage? What if she had the brain of a dog? Why are we having this discussion? Cyborgs. Duh.

I guess in this world, anyone can be whatever they want: man, woman, child, bird. But they’re not given that choice to decide, so we don’t get to explore that option. You’re telling me two Asians didn’t know they were Asians, living in a different body, including having other names and speaking perfect English? What the fuck? Oh yes, their memories were erased. It’s a lazy excuse to not explain the world they live in and this gaping plot hole just insults the audience’s intelligence even more.

Ghost in the Shell is basically a combination of other greater films that were ten times better: the first Robocop, Blade Runner, & the Matrix. And yes, the Matrix was actually inspired by the Ghost in the Shell anime from 1995.

What were they thinking making this film into live action? It’s worse than the live action Titan, which doesn’t even come close to the original. Some scenes may match with the anime, but there’s no heart nor substance. It left me feeling soulless and empty, like a shell. The anime may not have been perfect, but it had more emotion than this dreck.

This film had so much potential and the director and producer wasted it all on CGI. Sure, it looks pretty but it’s a flop in my book. Without characters to connect or relate to, why should anyone care? Did we really need this movie?

Major had no personality whatsoever. No other characters stood out among the rest. After the first 10-15 minutes, everything went downhill from there. The action was also terrible and added nothing special. I’ve seen this all before. There’s no surprises whatsoever, no plot twist, and I wasn’t shocked whatsoever.

Everything about this movie was just plain boring, unexciting, meh, and that’s very sad.

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Man, I’m so disappointed.

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